Sad Oni
Plot Unhappy birthday, Kirk Collins The chapter opens at Passion Park on Kirk Collins' 10th birthday, 5th April 1994 with a young Kirk Collins is excited about his birthday stunt. Raymond and Kent come out from the bushes on ordinary bikes watched by a shocked Kirk. The kids share same expressions as Kirk as they watch the homemade stunt together. Raymond stops only for Kent to bash into him and knocking him off along with himself. Kirk stares at them before bursting into anger, screaming "THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER!" and he unwraps one of his present to find a black and white battery powered electric guitar and begins to play it. He rises up into the air and says in a demonic voice that to avoid this happening again he will put a curse on his uncle and his uncle's employees a shouts out somewhat predictive lyrics to song he made up: Marcus! Your girlfriend will break up with you! Raymond! You and your wife will be turned into frogs '' '' at sunset on 2nd February 1998, you will die! '' Kent, to win your girlfriend, you will fake your own death'' but then your girlfriend will think it's real and will have a baby boy ON HER OWN! So you take it from her and she takes her life Uncle Nathan, your girlfriend will also break up with you! Some girl will fail her final exam and '' ''her own homemade ballgown will be wreaked. Some man will be left at the alter over a terrible bachelor party! Finally to finish the curse off! Oh this is satisfying! The whole of Passion Park will be closed! Nathan, Kirk's uncle tells him to get lost once his song is over and Kirk and his friends run off. Marcus, Raymond, Kent and a few other Passion Park employees panic as they question their fates. Raymond is worried about his while Kent starts thinking it out. Nathan tells his employees not to worry with no avail. Marcus Polo Marcus is first as the chapter opens up with his girlfriend breaks up with him leaving him depressed and heavy-hearted. One day, he is asked by a boy's father to rescue his son from the burning house. Marcus ran in as an ordinary and came out after begin struck by electricity, holding the boy as a strange looking superhero. He had antennae with blue fuzzy tips coming from his head, blue shirt with two black and white feather on them. His grey trouser were shortened to grey shorts with tiny tatters and on his arms and the back of shorts, there were floppy flaps that had the colours blue, white, black and blue. He also had blue socks but his trainers remained the same. He lost the bags under his eye and bristles of a beard. Since he also grabbed an axe that was on the footpath on his way in, the colours on it turned from sliver to blue,white and sliver. He puts the boy down on the grass and resuscitates him successfully and the boy thanks him by saying "Thank you, Marcus Polo" thus giving Marcus a new life. Raymond: died as a frog Raymond and his wife Alicia turn into frogs in their sleep on 28th January 1998 Faking Death: Kent Stein In 1999 Kent Stein sends invitations to a fake funeral (despite the invitation saying a real funeral) and the remaining Passion Park team due to Raymond's death and Alicia's self-exile into the mountains go to Kent's new bar that he opened and they find Kent pretending to be dead in a coffin. Kent tells Marcus that there is a ketchup pouch that when struck with his axe (even though it's squeaky and doesn't actually does physical harm to anyone at all), the pouch will burst and the ketchup will make it look like blood. Marcus does this with his eyes closed before running off, with his axe, crying just as Kent's girlfriend Donna arrives. As Marcus Polo runs off Kirk sings what Kent's curse is: Fake deaths will fail to win Donna's hand So he takes her kid, a boy named Matt To raise him like his own Leaving Donna's heart to break in two The lyrics are true as Donna quickly runs out crying thinking that it was all too real and then a few weeks later, has a baby boy in which she names Matthew or Matt for short. Kent disobeys Nathan's orders and runs to the hospital and steals Matt and leaves a note that explains that the fake death was the start of his engagement plan but since Donna didn't believe it was a fake death, he was adopted Matt and he is through with her. Love became a big Jerk Paper Heart Left out in the Rain By 2003, Passion's park's attendance drops and Kirk Collins (now 19-years-old) returns to say his goodbyes to Passion Park as he reminds them that the closing of Passion Park is the last part of the curse he put on them 9 years ago and the remaining gang (since Raymond died on 2nd February 1998) should say their goodbyes. Marcus Polo says that he has a better life than Nathan and he runs off. Kent with a young Matt tells Nathan that his bar will be the best in the years to come and leaves as well. The others desert Nathan and Kirk and Kirk gets a phone call. The phone call is from one of his friends, Amy Pearls who just caused a guy to be left at the alter over a broken tradition and since this happens the same day of Passion Park's closing, the curse has been lifted for Kirk and now she will commence her curse. Kirk says goodbye to his uncle one last time as the chapter closes. Epilogue The chapter opens to Kirk's diary entry, that takes place 1st July 2003. He mentions that his uncle (Nathan) died of a broken heart, Kent and his son Matt are doing good with the bar, Elaine has written her first book called "Rain cloud" about how her bad luck may have pushed her down, she managed to open a anger management class and Marcus Polo is doing excellent at stopping crime. He also says that the bad luck has worn off after 9 years and he is now with his new friend Irwin Stein and are about to make a surprise debut on the circuit racing track of The Great Irish Races. Kirk also breaks the 4th wall saying look out for Amylase's story Hi, I'm Amylase in which is the story of Marcus' ex's daughter. Timeline References to things from Regular Show or other media References to Regular Show * The following chapters were inspired by episodes from Regular Show: References to other media * Kirk Collins is a play-on-name on Kurt Cobain, guitarist and singer of Nirvana. * Marcus Polo is a play-on-name on Marco Polo, an Italian merchant traveler. * The 2nd last chapter, Left out in the rain, is a reference to the song 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. * The way Marcus Polo works is a somewhat-parody of caricature of El Chapulín Colorado ("The Red Grasshopper") a Mexican character superhero protrayed by Chespirito (real name Roberto Gómez Bolaños (21 February 1929-28 November 2014). Marcus Polo is quiet similar to El Chapulín Colorado ''but has the colours, blue white and dark grey or black for his costume and has a squeaky axe instead of a squeaky mallet. Connections to other Claireblue works * '''Raymond: died as a frog' is the unabridged story of the rebirth of Kevin the Slieve (sh-leave) Bloom vampire who later appears in Green Wings Man - Burren Swings along with Raymond's widow, Alicia and her friend Susie who calls herself Nursie. * The plot of Faking Death: Kent Stein is repeated (minus Kirk) in Like A Rose with the fake funeral scene, Kent taking Matt with him and Carmen's off page death. * Amy Pearls, the girl mentioned in Left in the rain is the same as in another Claireblue project that somewhat has the same plot as Sad Oni only called Moaning Heart. * The last chapter is a connecting point to the beginning of the Great Irish Races. After the diary entry, Kirk and Irwin join the Great Irish Races but are the first racers of the rally as announcer John scares Irwin by mentioning spring chickens, thus causing him to stop and watch the racers crash into each other. * Along with the diary entry, Kirk mentions Amylase Starchle, the daughter of Marcus' ex who is the main protagonist of Hi, I'm Amylase. See Also The Great Irish Races Moaning HeartCategory:Claireblue's projects Category:Multi character page Category:Sister Story to another story